Dating experiments...would you?

A group of friends were out and about having diner and drinks. There were 7 females and 6 males. They were discussing how men will deal ith a woman who has experimented with both sexes, but in most cases, a female will not deal with guy who has also experimented with both sexes, even though he was honest with the female.

3 females said they would deal with a guy who has experimented and realized it wasn’t for him because everybody makes mistakes, and he was honest about it. The 2 other females were kind of stuck, but would consider it depending on the situation. The other 2 females said never. All the guys said they didn't care what the person had done before them, as long as they are up front and honest.

So, the question is…would you date a person who has experimented in the past with another person or persons of the same sex, if you were heterosexual? Why?

Letter from a reader...

Last night I was talking to my 16 year old daughter and some of her friends. My daughter sat amongst her friends and admitted to still being a virgin! Well that started a whole conversation on why she was "saving" herself. Needless to say I was very proud that my daughter wasn’t ashamed of her sexual activity status, which I already knew! What I did not know was the number of young girls who thought my daughter was a prude for not having had sex yet. My daughter found herself defending her belief! I stayed out of it because she is my daughter and she handled herself. Well it gets better, my 19 year old comes in and basically makes the same statement. My 19 year old has a boyfriend she has been dating since high school. As the parent of both these young ladies, I am can not help but to be proud of them.

All the girls wanted to know what they were waiting for!
Well to my surprise my 19 year old says she thinks she is going wait until she is married. (I am secretly hoping she doesn't) My 16 year old says she not mature enough to handle all that comes with being sexually active. Oh did I say I was proud of them! We started talking very openly about drug and alcohol use, and we found that of the 6 young girls, 2 had tried either drugs or alcohol, or both. Mine of course are not interested in the activity partly because their father is a I.V. drug addict which explains why he is my ex. lol
To my amazement as a totally single parent (no contact, no child support, no nothing from my ex-husband their father) I think I have done something right!What amazes me more is the number of girls who think that my kids are like nerds or something....LOL! What is society coming to?

OMG! 16-year-old pimps!

Jazmine Finley and Tatiana Tye are alleged teen pimps from Arizona. The girls, both 16 years old, are being accused of running a prostitution ring, which consisted of 5-7 girls that were recruited from Finely and Tye’s high school. It has been reported that the recruited girls were in the age range of 14-17 years old. Finely and Tye are also being accused of prostituting as well. The 16-year-old alleged pimps are being tried as adults, and will have their case heard before a grand jury. The charges range from child prostitution to pandering. (Below left Finely, right Tye)

Now that things have hit fan, Tye has begun to blame Finely for introducing her to prostitution. Tye gives the impression that the Jazmine is the ringleader in this operation, and she simply followed. Both girls were accused of recruiting girls and telling them to join with them because they would be able to make lots of money and would not have to worry about being beaten up, like a male pimp would do them. Seems to me like Tye is looking for a way to shift blame. I mean looking at the two of these girls, both of them look like they are bullies. Besides, would Tye have made the statement if she wasn’t caught too? I think not. I don’t agree that these two ladies should be tried as adults; however, I do feel that some type of punishment needs to be enforced, so that more of this does not continue.

OK, here is my issue...what are we teaching our young women? Seems to me like too many of our teenage sisters are lost and need some real women to start stepping up and teaching them how to love themselves. These young sisters envy money, expensive cars, expensive clothes, and anything else that shows that “baller” lifestyle. Many of them can’t get the things they want from their parents, so they learn ways to sell their bodies, so that they can get what they desire. Money and sex is so gratified on the television, radio, the Internet and everywhere else, that it seems like the way of life to them. Teenagers and many other younger children really believe that if you don’t have money, you are nobody. If there is no one to teach them that most of what they see on TV. is perception, then how would the children be able to distinguish reality from fiction? This perception derives from what they are or not being taught at home. We really need to save our children and not give up on them. Just because it’s not your child now, it may be your child later, or someone else you love…we have to make a change, so that our children stand a chance in this world! Be sure to check out the entire articles on CNN or Fox news.

Friend or Foe?

Ever had a friend you really cared about, but you felt it was just something about that person that didn’t quite sit right? Well, I have found myself in that situation, and I just want to start snipping the branches. I am very much a no nonsense type of person. I don’t carry very many friends, and the ones I call my friends, have rightfully earned that spot...at least that’s what I thought. I honor the friendships that I have, and I pride myself in being a good friend. I know that all friendships aren’t meant to last forever, but dang.

About a year ago, a so-called friend of mine made some inappropriate remarks on a “secret” website about myself and a few other friends of ours. The friend had been secretly gossiping about us behind our back for about 2 years or more before we found out. Now not everything that was said was bad, but it was just pure principle. This was supposed to be our friend, and this friend was talking about us behind our backs. We felt totally betrayed by that friend because we all considered each other family. We all shared some information with each other that was supposed to between us. Some of that information found its way onto the site. Anyways, make a long story short, we ended up talking to the friend and exposing the fact that we knew about the site. Initially, the accusations were denied, but eventually, the friend admitted to posting the information. Because we had been friends so long, we all decided to forgive the friend and try to move forward.

This was the real issue…as we began to move forward, more and more things about the friend’s character began to surface, and we started to see the true colors. Months after the website issue, the friend and I were talking thru email, along with a few other people, and the friend made a remark to me that I felt was condescending. Being as though I wasn’t completely over the first incident, this just push me right over the edge, and I decided that for me, it was best for me to just cut the strings and count it as a lost. I felt kind of bad because I really cared about that friend, but I also felt that this friend was a fake. This story is really a lot more complicated then this, but in a nut shell… I’m not comfortable enough to allow the friendship to go on because I no longer trust the friend. I know everyone should be forgiven, but how many times should you get burned before stay away from the fire?

Are my co-workers racist?

It really troubles me that racism is still so strong in America. No matter how much it gets sugar coated, it never seems to get any better. Today, I over heard my co-workers talking about this picture...the responses were unbelievable. I can’t believe that I’m working amongst so many ignorant people. They were asked on several occasions to stop the conversation, but ignored the request and continued to voice their opinions. I mean don’t get me wrong, we all have some racist ways, but is it necessary to bring that into the work place? I don’t want to seem overly sensitive to the comments, but why does it seem like white people get to say whatever they want whenever they want, and we, be it Blacks, Chinese, Jews, Indians, anyone other race than whites, have to act like we don’t hear it, or like it doesn’t bother us? We would never get away with making those comments and especially in the work place. I don’t care what anyone says, segregation still exist, it’s just managed in different ways. Just recently Jeezy made a song called “My President is Black”, and they made a huge deal out of it, but yet they can walk around and disrespect us to our face and put demeaning racist pictures in a national newspaper and say “oh we didn’t mean anything by it, you all are just making an issue out of nothing”. Does anyone else see anything wrong with this or am I being overly sensitive?

Nadya's 14 pack

By now, we all have heard about Nadya Suleman, and her giving birth to octuplets. Having babies is a beautiful thing, but babies really need parents that are doing their parts in taking care of them. Now is it me, or is this child abuse…I know she loves her children, but Nadya already had 6 children between the ages 7-2, and she was jobless living with her parents in a 3 bedroom house. All of these children are a result of in vitro fertilization. I’m sorry, but children need daddies too. I’m not saying don’t go that route, I’m just saying when is enough enough? To me, this is pure selfishness on her part to subject her children to uncomfortable living situations, as well putting the burden on her parents to help her raise/take care of her 14 children.



Nadya, 33, with 14 children, jobless and a food stamp receiver, relies on everyone except herself to take care of her children. She collects disability checks for three of her children, but that is not enough for the family to survive off of. Angela Suleman, her mother, has a tremendous amount of pressure on her to help take care of Nadya and her 14 children. According to LA County Registrar-Recorder’s Office, Angela is more than $23,000 behind in mortgage payments. In a nutshell, she is getting ready to lose her house because of her daughter. Nadya really needs mental help. What she did to her family was very selfish. Nadya has had death threats because of her erratic behavior. I don’t think she should die for this, I think she just really needs some emotional/mental help. She said she gets lonely and has babies to fill the void…RED FLAG! The worst part about this is the children will be the ones that will suffer the most. At what point do you cut your child off or intervene so that this doesn’t happen?

"Hooking Up"

OK...I am so tired of people "hooking up" with each other then finding out who that person really is. A lot could be avoided, if we simply took some time to do our homework. Seems to me, there should be some standard things that you should find out about a person before you give your most precious gift, your body, away. Why is it necessary to get to the sex before we even know one another? There will always be time for sex, besides knowing the person makes the sex better in my opinion. Maybe it's my "ole school" ways, but I firmly believe that you need to KNOW the person before you give them a piece of you.

Now, the magic question is ...what information should you know about a person before you risk your life having sex with them, and yes I said risk?

Why do single people tell so many lies?

Single people need to step their games up and cut out the unnecessary lies. I mean lets face it, if you are not married, you can see whomever you want. Right? So why do so many single people lie about their involvement status? If you call yourself a “real” man or a “real woman”, then why are you telling your prospective partner(s) so many lies. If the person(s) you are dealing with cannot handle the truth, then you don’t need to deal with that person(s) period! Last time I checked, HIV/AIDS was still making its way around of town like tourists. HIV doesn’t have a face, but it definitely has a name with a hell of a reputation. If you could care less and don’t mind having HIV showing up like an unwanted roommate, then continue to tell lies and play Russian Roulette with your life. The least you could do is give a person the truth, and then let them decide if they want to deal with you or not. So first be honest with yourselves, then it will make being honest with others a lot easier.

Put that knife down!

Ok....is it me, or is this domestic violence crap getting out of hand. I mean I really don't understand why two adults can't learn how to agree to disagree without acting like children and exchanging hands.

Here's the story...a few weeks ago, I went back to my hometown to visit some family members for party. When I settled in town, I was bombarded by several family members , telling me stories about one of my 29-year old male cousins, who was being physically abused by his girlfriend, who is also the mother of his two "children". The stories disturbed me, and I couldn't imagine that a person like him would go through this. I decided to go to his home just to pay a visit and let him know I was in town. To my surprise, when I got there, I would be left on the other side of the door knocking. I knew they were home, but I figured, she wasn't going to allow him to have company, so I left.

The next evening, I ran into that male cousin, at the party. I hadn't seen him in a while, and he looked a mess. Immediately, I felt the need to ask him what was going on with him. He just looked at me and said, "cuz...lets jut have a good time tonight, we can talk about this later". I let it go, and we partied the night away.

The party was over, and it was time to clean up the place. I walked over to my cousin, and I told him we were still going to have this conversation. I asked him what's going on with him, and he told me that his girl sometimes gets upset with him for stupid things that he may do. He said she lashes out by cutting, punching, kicking, whatever to get "her point across". That's when I asked him, so why do you put of with this? His response was because he wants to make things work for the kids. How can this possibly be good for the kids? I mean they are the ones suffering the most.

That's when it hit me. See...my cousin grew up in a house where his father and mother would fight all the time, and he would have to come home from school to see bloody walls, carpet, you name it. Not to mention all the times he had to witness his father hit his mother, or all the times he had to hear the violent fights from another room. When he was a kid, he would just curl into a ball, and bury his face between his legs, so that he could try to tune out the noise from the fighting. This went on for a great deal throughout his childhood. In fact, it went on until his parents got a divorce when he was 12. See when he was a boy, he made a vow that he would never hit a woman. What he didn't make a vow to do was not let a woman hit him either.

Too many times we mistake male domestic violence victims as wimps, punks, or whatever you want to call them. We never look into why they, like women, allow this type of behavior. I put two in two together, his mind is screwed up from his parents behavior when he was a child. He thinks it's ok for his woman to hit him because he does "stupid" things to make her mad. As long as he doesn't hit her, he thinks that's ok. The children are suffering, and not to mention at the rate of things, this could turn tragic. Since being with this woman, he has tried to take his life twice. He is covered in scars from the abuse, but he feels like he needs to be with her and that she abuses him because she loves him. My cousin needs so much help. He is an awesome father and a wonderful person, but he has no self-esteem what-so-ever. This abuse has to stop, or someone will end up dead. This is too serious!

Is Chris Brown's image really destroyed?

Ok...all of us are wondering, is Chris Brown really a woman beater? Well, I don't have the knowledge or authority to say yeah or no, but what I do know is that this incident has changed his career forever. Chris Brown is a phenomenal entertainer, and he is greatly loved and appreciated by so many, but has his reputation as a "good boy" been damaged? Many would say definitely. This erratic behavior displayed by Mr. Brown may have cost him his career.

One thing that is for sure, is that there is never a valid excuse for hitting a woman. By now, we have all heard something about how this brawl came about. Of course, there has been rumors of Rihaana giving him herpes, Rihaana being on a jealous rage because of a "jump off" chick Chris was dealing with, all kinds of rumors. At the end of the day, none of that really matters. Wrong is wrong! Domestic violence remains a serious issue in society. Too many people are finding excuses as to why this behavior should be tolerated. It should NEVER be tolerated. Two adults should be able to agree disagree, and respect the other person's perspective. Am I saying Rihaana is completely innocent? No! What I am saying is, we have got to figure out better ways to manage our anger. Chris Brown found out soon enough, that no matter how much he is liked or how much money he makes, or how well he sings, or how good he looks, it doesn't keep him from the everyday struggles that makes him human.

We should all understand that this is a very young couple that lives in the limelight. It's already difficult enough to manage a relationship for everyday common folk, you know it must have been extremely difficult for them. Lets face it, even good people can have a bad day. I say this to say that Chris Brown made a serious mistake in whatever he did, but he doesn't deserve to be painted out as the "bad guy". His actions were wrong indeed, but we don't have all the facts to keep making assumptions. This is a real eye opener for the two of them. In fact, if anything, it shows that they too, are capable of being human. With all that being said, the chances of this relationship surviving is slim to none. I hope this teaches our young people about dealing with relationships in a mature matter.

Need to get paid!

We all could use some extra income, lets face it! If money was no issue, we wouldn't be researching different ways to maxamize our financial situation. Who wouldn't love to spend more time with the family and vacation more? I don't know of anyone...with that being said, are you in control of your financial future? The truth is, if you don't decide to take control, then you will continue to be cheated out of your time and money by working that dead end job. Even with it, it's not guranteed to be around! Right now the economy is so poor, companys are laying off by the hundreds and thousands. I recomend that we all start to take a look into our financial situations and ask ourself are we able to survive financially if that 9 to 5 goes away tomorrow? For the most part, most of us may survive about 2 months without employment, but why take that chance when you can just do some simple research online or in the library and learn how to earn money without having to really trade so many hours. The sky truly is the limit! I believe that we all should grab another person by the hand who really wants to learn and guide them in the right direction. After all, how can one be successful without the success of many! Are you ready to quit that job that you hate to go to everyday?