He'll love me one day...

Shante and her husband Greg, who were mutual friends of Keyon and Candi, introduced Keyon and Candi to each other one day. Keyon and Candi had never met each other in person before, and had only spoken over phone. However, after briefly talking over phone, Keyon and Candi decided to meet each other for dinner.

On their first dinner date, sparks immediately start to intensify between Keyon and Candi. He liked how she looked, she liked how he looked, and they both enjoyed each other’s conversation. The idea of marriage and kids were brought up during conversation by both of parties, as an option if their relationship progressed forward. The fact that neither of them had any children was a plus. That night, since Keyon and Candi enjoyed each other’s company so much, they both decided to keep in touch and continue seeing each other. The first month or so everything went great. The two of them were talking all the time, texting each other all the time, meeting up at his place all the time (no sex), and were just enjoying each other’s company.

Happily Miserable

When people enter relationships, most of them have unrealistic expectations. Ideally, we all would love to fall in love with the man or woman of our dreams, and be happy with that person for the rest of our lives, but reality states that even if we find that person we’ve been dreaming about, life isn’t that simplistic. There are many speed bumps on the roads, many roads with very little light, and many roads that will have dead ends. Each person comes into the relationship with independent thoughts and feelings, but most importantly, different ways of viewing life. Too often, one person gets too consumed with the other person’s life, and forgets how to think, act and feel independent. This lack of independence becomes burdensome on the other mate and causes major problems in the relationship. People need to understand that there is no such thing as a person completing them. We are born a complete person and the other person should be complimentary to our lives. Each person in the relationship should continue to have a life outside of each other because it makes a healthier relationship. Going out occasionally with friends and family provides the person an outlet that may not exist if they only spent time with each other. Besides, time a part helps you learn to appreciate each other more.

Give It All Away

Life is tough, and can sometimes seem unbearable to live. With all the chaos going on in the world, we lose sight of the bigger picture and get consumed in our issues. Life is not all about us. Just because we’ve had a bad day doesn’t make it right for us to take out our frustrations on others. You never know what type of day that person has had either. We definitely need to be more cognizant of others and understand that we have a responsibility to treat others, no matter who they are, like we would want to be treated. Life is not promised to be given to us with out triumphs, and we are not promised a life without trials and tribulations. The problems we face in life sometimes consume our thoughts and dictate the mood we will be in for the day. Our personal issues take precedent over everything else in our lives because have not learned to let go and let God handle them. No matter how horrible our situations may seem, someone else situation is always worse. When we understand that we don’t have all the answers, that we cannot fix everything thing wrong in our lives, and that we too, fall short and will endure hardships, we will get a better glimpse of the picture.

How can we expect differently from our children?

Children from a very early learning age are taught how to be respectful, how to speak, when to speak, what to say, who to say it to, and where to say it. In fact, being respectful is taught in just about every corner of the world. For many years, teachers have struggled with maintaining diplomatic order in their classrooms because some children just couldn’t or didn’t grasp this concept. We all know how frustrating it is when someone just blabs out things in the middle of class, or when a person is just being a complete donkey for show. It majorly disturbs the energy in the classroom and creates an atmosphere for confusion. In school, children are taught to raise their hands before speaking, to listen when other’s are talking, and most importantly, to be respectful of other people’s thoughts and opinions even if they don’t agree. This communication skill is taught to children at an early age because when children become adults and face these situations, they need to know how to appropriately react.

Cheating Signs

How to tell if the person you are dating/married to is cheating or up to no good…

1. Intimacy has been on vacation so long, you forgot what it was. (No touching, kissing, hugging, sex, etc)
2. Your mate is all of a sudden “working longer hours” all the time and conveniently becomes unreachable at certain hours when before you could reach them.
3. Your mate is all of a sudden hanging out with “friends” you’ve never met and doesn’t plan on letting you meet the “friends”.
4. Your mate constantly starts arguments with you so he/she can leave.
5. The cell phone is always turned off, on vibrate, or set to silence when you are around and your mate refuses to answer or walks off to answer.

Sweet Nikki...

My cousin Nikki was from a small town in, South Carolina. She was the mother of a precious little girl and expecting another child. Nikki was one of the most genuine people you could ever meet. She had a smile that would lighten up a dark room, and a personality that was magnetic. Nikki was very family oriented and strongly believed in keeping the family together. Nikki really loved her daughter and it showed in everything she did. Everyone that knew Nikki would say she was an awesome mother, friend, co-worker, or person in general. She truly loved people and prided herself in being a good person.

Well, it took me a while to write about this because it hurt me so bad, but I feel like it’s time. Domestic violence is growing at a ridiculous rate, and too many lives are being taken as a result. My cousin Nikki, who was pregnant at the time, had made it very clear to her ex-boyfriend (Jeffery Scott Jr., the child’s father) that she had no desire to be with him and had moved on with her life. In fact, she had told him that she was pregnant with another man’s baby and no longer wanted to communicate with him unless it was about their daughter. Nikki was trying to do the adult thing and break off this relationship in a respectable manner. As you can imagine, Jeffery didn’t want to accept this and pleaded his case. Nikki wasn’t interested in what he had to say and pretty much brushed him off.

Fellaz Step Yo Game Up!

Most men like to believe they know what it takes to sexually please a woman and rarely like to be told how to do so. None of them like to be told they aren't doing something right because the ego is fragile. Men like to please their women, but some of them simply lack a few tools. A lot of men fail to realize that women enjoy sex as much as they do and are stimulated in some of the most unique ways. The body is a playground full of entertainment.

Grandma Dances To Get Out of a Ticket

Psychotic Mother Eats Newborn Baby

San Antonio, TX – July 26, 2009
Otty Sanchez, the mother of a 3-½ week old baby, was charged yesterday with capital murder in the death of her newborn baby. Police found the 3-½ week old infant stabbed and decapitated in the Texas home. The scene was reportedly so gruesome investigators could hardly speak. In the bedroom of the home, the dismembered body of the newborn laid. Three of his toes were chewed off, his face torn away, his head severed, his brain ripped out and eaten. Allegedly, Sanchez ate the brain and some other body parts before turning the knife on herself.
Sanchez apparently had 2 other children, ages 5 and 7, which were in the house at the time, but they were unharmed. When officers arrived to the home, Sanchez was sitting on the couch with a self-inflicted wound to the chest and a partially slashed throat. Reportedly, she told officers the devil made her kill her baby. Sanchez was hospitalized and taken into custody.

Everyday, children are abused, neglected, and killed by their parents. Not enough is being done to protect our children from harm, and no one wants to confront the issues because they are too afraid of social judgments. The longer we sit back and pretend like these issues will just go away, the more lives that will be taken or destroyed. This article is by far one of the most disturbing cases of child abuse and murder!

8-Year Old Gets Gang Raped

Phoenix, Arizona --An 8 year-old little girl was sexually assaulted and gang raped by a group of her male peers. The boys, ranging in ages from 9-14, were charged with sexual assault. According to reports, the girl was at an apartment complex on July 14, when she was lured to a storage shed by the boys. Allegedly, the boys offered the little girl some gum and then proceeded to restrain and sexually assault her. Police called this case “one of the worst cases they have investigated in many years.” The oldest suspect, who was 14, was charged as an adult and faces 2 counts of sexual assault and one count of kidnapping. The other three boys will be charged as juveniles. All the boys lived in the apartment complex except the 14 year old.

All these children came from refugee families that came to the US from the war-torn West African nation of Liberia. The mentality of these children is quite different from typical American children, but nonetheless, they are children. The little girl’s condition is not yet known, but she has been removed from her family because of their negative attitude towards her. Her family feels embarrassed and ashamed of the little girl, and blames her for what happened to her. The little girl’s 23-year old sister was babysitting her at the time of the alleged attack; the sister wants the boys released from jail because she says, “we are the same people.”

Instead of the community embracing this little 8-year old girl, she is being treated like an outcast. The family blames her for bringing confusion to the refugee. Cultural differences definitely separates one group from the next, but some things are embedded in just being human. Up until 2006, rape was not against the law in Liberia. Children and women have been mistreated for centuries, not only in Liberia, but all around the world, and it’s time for change. No matter where you are from, I don’t care if it’s your culture or not, it’s never ok to engage in sex with a child. We are ruining our children who were given to us by God to protect. This 8-year old child didn’t deserve to be sexually assaulted or raped, and she surly doesn’t deserve to be ostracized by her family. Giving up on our children means giving up on our future.

MJ's Immortal Legacy

Michael Joseph Jackson, the King of Pop, was such an inspirational, kind, loving, selfless individual that cared deeply for all of humanity. Born on August 29, 1958 in Gary, Indiana, Michael grew up during a time when racial barriers controlled a great portion of human interactions with one another. During the 60’s, many blacks were in segregated communities, schools, churches, restaurants, etc…, and they were totally ostracized by their white counterparts. Most blacks were afraid to step across racial barriers for fear of losing their life or getting arrested, and the others were too ignorant to care. Racism was intricately woven into communities all across America, and more than anything, the black communities felt the pinch.

The Civil Rights Movement (1955-1965), proved to be a channel for many blacks to prevail and to be able to stand for justice and challenge their white oppressors. Many leaders began to sprout from the black communities and fight for equal justice for all blacks. There were very few black owned business, artist, entertainers, writers, athletes, and black professionals in general. Once Civil Rights Leaders laid the foundation, many blacks were afforded some of the same opportunities as whites. The Civil Rights Movement opened many closed doors, but blacks still struggled to maintain lifestyles like whites. There were very few black entertainers and other professionals that were made public figures. The few blacks that were recognized publicly in the communities were immensely idolized. Music for blacks was a way to free the spirits and unionize the community. Music was therapy to the black community and has always been a critical part of the culture. There were very few black musicians to look up to, so when the Jackson 5 came along, the black community began to feel a great sense of hope and accomplishment and embraced the music.

10 Ways to Improve Communication in Your Relationship

Here is my list of 10 simple ways a couple could improve the communication in their relationship. *This is recommendation only, but proven to work. There are many more ways to better the communication, but these 10 are vital. *

1. Accept responsibility for your actions. Don't lie about situations or things just because you either are afraid as to how the your mate will react, or if you think you already know how your mate will react.
   
2. 
   
   
   Be open about your thoughts and feelings. Always be open with how you feel about things, or you will send the wrong message. You want to make sure that your feelings are being taking into consideration.
3. 
   
   
   Listen to what your mate is telling you. Understand, or try to understand what your mate is talking about and be actively involved in the conversation, even if it bores you.
4. 
   
   
   Agree to disagree. No two people think alike all the time. Understand that you'll have to accept your mate's opinions even when you don't agree with them.
5. 
   
   
   Be willing to compromise. Sometimes it's very necessary to do things that you absolutely have no desire to do, but it makes your mate happy. After all, it's not all about you all the time.
   
   

Giving up too soon?

Marriage can either be a wonderful experience, or a horrible experience. All in all, it all boils down to—what the two people really want to put into their marriage, and what they expect out of the marriage. They should never get married and hope things fall into place.

People should research the person they are marrying before making that life changing decision. The two of them should sit down and have an adult conversation, before marriage, about what he and she expects from the marriage. During this time, they should also openly discuss what they are willing to do to meet those expectations. Marriage isn’t going to work simply because two people decide to say “I do”.

Recently, I was speaking with a friend about his marriage, and how he was just fed up. He was very frustrated and ready to file the divorce papers only after 5 months of marriage. This puzzled me quite a bit, so I decided to ask him –"what is the reason you want to end your marriage after such short time"? My friend began to explain. He starts out by telling me that he really loves his wife and her children deeply, but he feels like he married his wife mainly out of guilt. He felt guilty for them losing contact years ago when they first attempted to date, and he also felt guilty for how the men in the past had treated her. He married her because he didn’t want her to slip away again, and because he felt like this opportunity for him to be in her life was not by chance. Taking things at such a fast pace, they never really sat down and discussed the expectations of the marriage, and what they were going to do to meet those expectations. Immediately, things are off to a difficult start.

My friend doesn’t have any children, but his wife has three children from a previous relationship. Although the children are not his, he loves them and treats them as if they were. The only issue he says that he has about the children, is the fact that he has never met their father. He has never even had a conversation with the father, and his wife is not interested in letting him speak to the father, much less meet him. The children’s father calls and talks to their mother, but has yet had any interaction with the man that’s standing in the home as “daddy” to his children. My friend feels like the father is truly a dead beat that doesn’t support his children financially, nor does he do his part in raising them.

Outside of the children, my friend is concerned that his wife talks to her friends more than she talks to him. In addition, he feels like she comes down on him about money situations, but refuses to make the children’s father pay child support. As if things were not already getting tangled, he confessed his concerns about the children’s father calling when he wasn’t around, and his wife simply tells him she’ll handle the situation. Since letting her know his concerns, she has started turning the ringer off on her cell phone, and she tells him that she does this because the email alerts wake her up at night.
Recently, the children’s father asked to have sex with the mother even-though he knew she was married. She told my friend days later, and said she waited so long to tell him that because she forgot.

I am all for marriage, and I try to always give the best advice I possibly can. I strongly urge married people to put as much work as they possibly can into their marriage before they decide to call it quits. I gave him my two cents on the situation, but was curious as to what you all think. Let me know….better yet help the brotha out and let him know your honest opinions!

Blazing Crime Scene

Suitland, Maryland—Suitland is notorious for it’s crime and drugs. Being a neighbor of Washington, DC makes Suitland a breeding ground for criminals. It’s no secret about the crimes and drugs floating around the Nation’s Capital. Bodies are turning up left and right, and the community deserves answers. All too often, crimes happen right underneath the noses of people, but they are too afraid to speak out, or simply do not care, or are not aware of what’s going on.

Just after 1 a.m. on Sunday, May 3, 2009, police responded to a call about a vehicle being on fire on the 2500 block of Darel Drive in Suitland, Maryland.

When police and firefighters arrived on the scene, the car was in a blaze. Firefighters extinguished the blaze, and in the process, found the body of an unidentified man that was burned beyond recognition.

The cause of death cannot be determined until investigators receive the results from the autopsy because the body was so badly burned. It’s alleged that the man was shot or stabbed before the vehicle was set on fire.

Police are investigating this crime as a homicide, and any information leading to the arrest of a suspect should be reported to the Prince George’s County Police Department.

HIV/AIDS Awareness Campaign

Washington, DC—Washington, DC ranks #1 in the U.S. for cities with the highest population of residents living with HIV/AIDS. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, “every 9 ½ minutes, someone’s mother, father, daughter, son, sister, brother or friend is infected with HIV/AIDS”. There are approximately 1.2 million in the U.S. living with the HIV/AIDS, and of those, 300,000 didn’t know their status or had never been tested prior to finding out their status.
African-Americans make up a little over 12 percent of the population; however, they make of 50 percent of the HIV/AIDS cases in the United States. These numbers are alarming. It is believed that the reason it’s so high in the black communities is because people have become too complacent and are not educating themselves about this virus. Research states that 1 out of 16 black men will be infected in their lifetime, along with 1 out of 30 black women.

The campaign is designed to educate communities about the virus and ways to prevent the spread of the virus. It is also designed to show those who are living with the virus ways to increase their survival methods. According to the Washington Post, President Obama began a 5 year $45 million media blitz that sparked awareness about HIV and AIDS yesterday. The President understands the criticality of educating our communities and preventing the spread of this deadly virus. In fact, he stated, that this virus is "a serious threat to the health of our nation."This campaign can only be successful if the words are spread about the communities. Everyone has to get involved to help control the spread of this virus.

To find out more information about the campaign, visit http://nineandahalfminutes.org/. Just because it’s not you today, doesn’t mean it may not be you tomorrow. Lend a helping hand, and lets strengthen our communities.

Wake Up DC!

What on Earth is going on in DC? Seems like the only thing that seems to make its way around the city with no problem is HIV and AIDS. Over the last three years, the alarming rate increase among individuals in the city living with HIV or AIDS has hit the roof. In the last three years, the city has increased its HIV/AIDS population by 22%. That means that 1 out of every 33 people are infected. This is extremely scary. With all the educational resources available, it’s difficult to believe that people are not educating themselves on this virus. Living the in Washington, DC metro area has definitely increased my HIV/AIDS awareness. Every since I moved here, which was back in 1995, I have heard numerous stories about the increasing rates of person being infected with HIV/AIDS. Still, not much has changed over the last 14 years, except the numbers have increased tremendously. In fact, seems like more people have become more provocative and more careless.

We have to educate our children and ourselves. The youth are suffering a great deal because they are not being educated about the virus. We are teaching children how to play sports, read, dance, sing, etc, but we are not teaching them about their bodies and how to keep it healthy. Instead, young people are being taught to be abstinent. While this is great, it is also idealistic. In reality, there will be young people that will have a desire to engage in sexual activity and chose not to wait. So do we simply act like those young people don’t exist? No. We need to educate them as much as possible and teach them how to be safe.

Washington, DC is number one in the nation for HIV/AIDS, and Baltimore is number two. African –Americans, a minority race, has the highest percent of persons infected with HIV/AIDS in the United States. As an African-American, this makes my skin cringe. We have got to make some changes and educate the community, so that we will have a surviving chance.

Stay tuned for more on this topic…

Dating experiments...would you?

A group of friends were out and about having diner and drinks. There were 7 females and 6 males. They were discussing how men will deal ith a woman who has experimented with both sexes, but in most cases, a female will not deal with guy who has also experimented with both sexes, even though he was honest with the female.

3 females said they would deal with a guy who has experimented and realized it wasn’t for him because everybody makes mistakes, and he was honest about it. The 2 other females were kind of stuck, but would consider it depending on the situation. The other 2 females said never. All the guys said they didn't care what the person had done before them, as long as they are up front and honest.

So, the question is…would you date a person who has experimented in the past with another person or persons of the same sex, if you were heterosexual? Why?

Letter from a reader...

Last night I was talking to my 16 year old daughter and some of her friends. My daughter sat amongst her friends and admitted to still being a virgin! Well that started a whole conversation on why she was "saving" herself. Needless to say I was very proud that my daughter wasn’t ashamed of her sexual activity status, which I already knew! What I did not know was the number of young girls who thought my daughter was a prude for not having had sex yet. My daughter found herself defending her belief! I stayed out of it because she is my daughter and she handled herself. Well it gets better, my 19 year old comes in and basically makes the same statement. My 19 year old has a boyfriend she has been dating since high school. As the parent of both these young ladies, I am can not help but to be proud of them.

All the girls wanted to know what they were waiting for!
Well to my surprise my 19 year old says she thinks she is going wait until she is married. (I am secretly hoping she doesn't) My 16 year old says she not mature enough to handle all that comes with being sexually active. Oh did I say I was proud of them! We started talking very openly about drug and alcohol use, and we found that of the 6 young girls, 2 had tried either drugs or alcohol, or both. Mine of course are not interested in the activity partly because their father is a I.V. drug addict which explains why he is my ex. lol
To my amazement as a totally single parent (no contact, no child support, no nothing from my ex-husband their father) I think I have done something right!What amazes me more is the number of girls who think that my kids are like nerds or something....LOL! What is society coming to?

OMG! 16-year-old pimps!

Jazmine Finley and Tatiana Tye are alleged teen pimps from Arizona. The girls, both 16 years old, are being accused of running a prostitution ring, which consisted of 5-7 girls that were recruited from Finely and Tye’s high school. It has been reported that the recruited girls were in the age range of 14-17 years old. Finely and Tye are also being accused of prostituting as well. The 16-year-old alleged pimps are being tried as adults, and will have their case heard before a grand jury. The charges range from child prostitution to pandering. (Below left Finely, right Tye)

Now that things have hit fan, Tye has begun to blame Finely for introducing her to prostitution. Tye gives the impression that the Jazmine is the ringleader in this operation, and she simply followed. Both girls were accused of recruiting girls and telling them to join with them because they would be able to make lots of money and would not have to worry about being beaten up, like a male pimp would do them. Seems to me like Tye is looking for a way to shift blame. I mean looking at the two of these girls, both of them look like they are bullies. Besides, would Tye have made the statement if she wasn’t caught too? I think not. I don’t agree that these two ladies should be tried as adults; however, I do feel that some type of punishment needs to be enforced, so that more of this does not continue.

OK, here is my issue...what are we teaching our young women? Seems to me like too many of our teenage sisters are lost and need some real women to start stepping up and teaching them how to love themselves. These young sisters envy money, expensive cars, expensive clothes, and anything else that shows that “baller” lifestyle. Many of them can’t get the things they want from their parents, so they learn ways to sell their bodies, so that they can get what they desire. Money and sex is so gratified on the television, radio, the Internet and everywhere else, that it seems like the way of life to them. Teenagers and many other younger children really believe that if you don’t have money, you are nobody. If there is no one to teach them that most of what they see on TV. is perception, then how would the children be able to distinguish reality from fiction? This perception derives from what they are or not being taught at home. We really need to save our children and not give up on them. Just because it’s not your child now, it may be your child later, or someone else you love…we have to make a change, so that our children stand a chance in this world! Be sure to check out the entire articles on CNN or Fox news.

Friend or Foe?

Ever had a friend you really cared about, but you felt it was just something about that person that didn’t quite sit right? Well, I have found myself in that situation, and I just want to start snipping the branches. I am very much a no nonsense type of person. I don’t carry very many friends, and the ones I call my friends, have rightfully earned that spot...at least that’s what I thought. I honor the friendships that I have, and I pride myself in being a good friend. I know that all friendships aren’t meant to last forever, but dang.

About a year ago, a so-called friend of mine made some inappropriate remarks on a “secret” website about myself and a few other friends of ours. The friend had been secretly gossiping about us behind our back for about 2 years or more before we found out. Now not everything that was said was bad, but it was just pure principle. This was supposed to be our friend, and this friend was talking about us behind our backs. We felt totally betrayed by that friend because we all considered each other family. We all shared some information with each other that was supposed to between us. Some of that information found its way onto the site. Anyways, make a long story short, we ended up talking to the friend and exposing the fact that we knew about the site. Initially, the accusations were denied, but eventually, the friend admitted to posting the information. Because we had been friends so long, we all decided to forgive the friend and try to move forward.

This was the real issue…as we began to move forward, more and more things about the friend’s character began to surface, and we started to see the true colors. Months after the website issue, the friend and I were talking thru email, along with a few other people, and the friend made a remark to me that I felt was condescending. Being as though I wasn’t completely over the first incident, this just push me right over the edge, and I decided that for me, it was best for me to just cut the strings and count it as a lost. I felt kind of bad because I really cared about that friend, but I also felt that this friend was a fake. This story is really a lot more complicated then this, but in a nut shell… I’m not comfortable enough to allow the friendship to go on because I no longer trust the friend. I know everyone should be forgiven, but how many times should you get burned before stay away from the fire?

Are my co-workers racist?

It really troubles me that racism is still so strong in America. No matter how much it gets sugar coated, it never seems to get any better. Today, I over heard my co-workers talking about this picture...the responses were unbelievable. I can’t believe that I’m working amongst so many ignorant people. They were asked on several occasions to stop the conversation, but ignored the request and continued to voice their opinions. I mean don’t get me wrong, we all have some racist ways, but is it necessary to bring that into the work place? I don’t want to seem overly sensitive to the comments, but why does it seem like white people get to say whatever they want whenever they want, and we, be it Blacks, Chinese, Jews, Indians, anyone other race than whites, have to act like we don’t hear it, or like it doesn’t bother us? We would never get away with making those comments and especially in the work place. I don’t care what anyone says, segregation still exist, it’s just managed in different ways. Just recently Jeezy made a song called “My President is Black”, and they made a huge deal out of it, but yet they can walk around and disrespect us to our face and put demeaning racist pictures in a national newspaper and say “oh we didn’t mean anything by it, you all are just making an issue out of nothing”. Does anyone else see anything wrong with this or am I being overly sensitive?

Nadya's 14 pack

By now, we all have heard about Nadya Suleman, and her giving birth to octuplets. Having babies is a beautiful thing, but babies really need parents that are doing their parts in taking care of them. Now is it me, or is this child abuse…I know she loves her children, but Nadya already had 6 children between the ages 7-2, and she was jobless living with her parents in a 3 bedroom house. All of these children are a result of in vitro fertilization. I’m sorry, but children need daddies too. I’m not saying don’t go that route, I’m just saying when is enough enough? To me, this is pure selfishness on her part to subject her children to uncomfortable living situations, as well putting the burden on her parents to help her raise/take care of her 14 children.



Nadya, 33, with 14 children, jobless and a food stamp receiver, relies on everyone except herself to take care of her children. She collects disability checks for three of her children, but that is not enough for the family to survive off of. Angela Suleman, her mother, has a tremendous amount of pressure on her to help take care of Nadya and her 14 children. According to LA County Registrar-Recorder’s Office, Angela is more than $23,000 behind in mortgage payments. In a nutshell, she is getting ready to lose her house because of her daughter. Nadya really needs mental help. What she did to her family was very selfish. Nadya has had death threats because of her erratic behavior. I don’t think she should die for this, I think she just really needs some emotional/mental help. She said she gets lonely and has babies to fill the void…RED FLAG! The worst part about this is the children will be the ones that will suffer the most. At what point do you cut your child off or intervene so that this doesn’t happen?

"Hooking Up"

OK...I am so tired of people "hooking up" with each other then finding out who that person really is. A lot could be avoided, if we simply took some time to do our homework. Seems to me, there should be some standard things that you should find out about a person before you give your most precious gift, your body, away. Why is it necessary to get to the sex before we even know one another? There will always be time for sex, besides knowing the person makes the sex better in my opinion. Maybe it's my "ole school" ways, but I firmly believe that you need to KNOW the person before you give them a piece of you.

Now, the magic question is ...what information should you know about a person before you risk your life having sex with them, and yes I said risk?

Why do single people tell so many lies?

Single people need to step their games up and cut out the unnecessary lies. I mean lets face it, if you are not married, you can see whomever you want. Right? So why do so many single people lie about their involvement status? If you call yourself a “real” man or a “real woman”, then why are you telling your prospective partner(s) so many lies. If the person(s) you are dealing with cannot handle the truth, then you don’t need to deal with that person(s) period! Last time I checked, HIV/AIDS was still making its way around of town like tourists. HIV doesn’t have a face, but it definitely has a name with a hell of a reputation. If you could care less and don’t mind having HIV showing up like an unwanted roommate, then continue to tell lies and play Russian Roulette with your life. The least you could do is give a person the truth, and then let them decide if they want to deal with you or not. So first be honest with yourselves, then it will make being honest with others a lot easier.

Put that knife down!

Ok....is it me, or is this domestic violence crap getting out of hand. I mean I really don't understand why two adults can't learn how to agree to disagree without acting like children and exchanging hands.

Here's the story...a few weeks ago, I went back to my hometown to visit some family members for party. When I settled in town, I was bombarded by several family members , telling me stories about one of my 29-year old male cousins, who was being physically abused by his girlfriend, who is also the mother of his two "children". The stories disturbed me, and I couldn't imagine that a person like him would go through this. I decided to go to his home just to pay a visit and let him know I was in town. To my surprise, when I got there, I would be left on the other side of the door knocking. I knew they were home, but I figured, she wasn't going to allow him to have company, so I left.

The next evening, I ran into that male cousin, at the party. I hadn't seen him in a while, and he looked a mess. Immediately, I felt the need to ask him what was going on with him. He just looked at me and said, "cuz...lets jut have a good time tonight, we can talk about this later". I let it go, and we partied the night away.

The party was over, and it was time to clean up the place. I walked over to my cousin, and I told him we were still going to have this conversation. I asked him what's going on with him, and he told me that his girl sometimes gets upset with him for stupid things that he may do. He said she lashes out by cutting, punching, kicking, whatever to get "her point across". That's when I asked him, so why do you put of with this? His response was because he wants to make things work for the kids. How can this possibly be good for the kids? I mean they are the ones suffering the most.

That's when it hit me. See...my cousin grew up in a house where his father and mother would fight all the time, and he would have to come home from school to see bloody walls, carpet, you name it. Not to mention all the times he had to witness his father hit his mother, or all the times he had to hear the violent fights from another room. When he was a kid, he would just curl into a ball, and bury his face between his legs, so that he could try to tune out the noise from the fighting. This went on for a great deal throughout his childhood. In fact, it went on until his parents got a divorce when he was 12. See when he was a boy, he made a vow that he would never hit a woman. What he didn't make a vow to do was not let a woman hit him either.

Too many times we mistake male domestic violence victims as wimps, punks, or whatever you want to call them. We never look into why they, like women, allow this type of behavior. I put two in two together, his mind is screwed up from his parents behavior when he was a child. He thinks it's ok for his woman to hit him because he does "stupid" things to make her mad. As long as he doesn't hit her, he thinks that's ok. The children are suffering, and not to mention at the rate of things, this could turn tragic. Since being with this woman, he has tried to take his life twice. He is covered in scars from the abuse, but he feels like he needs to be with her and that she abuses him because she loves him. My cousin needs so much help. He is an awesome father and a wonderful person, but he has no self-esteem what-so-ever. This abuse has to stop, or someone will end up dead. This is too serious!

Is Chris Brown's image really destroyed?

Ok...all of us are wondering, is Chris Brown really a woman beater? Well, I don't have the knowledge or authority to say yeah or no, but what I do know is that this incident has changed his career forever. Chris Brown is a phenomenal entertainer, and he is greatly loved and appreciated by so many, but has his reputation as a "good boy" been damaged? Many would say definitely. This erratic behavior displayed by Mr. Brown may have cost him his career.

One thing that is for sure, is that there is never a valid excuse for hitting a woman. By now, we have all heard something about how this brawl came about. Of course, there has been rumors of Rihaana giving him herpes, Rihaana being on a jealous rage because of a "jump off" chick Chris was dealing with, all kinds of rumors. At the end of the day, none of that really matters. Wrong is wrong! Domestic violence remains a serious issue in society. Too many people are finding excuses as to why this behavior should be tolerated. It should NEVER be tolerated. Two adults should be able to agree disagree, and respect the other person's perspective. Am I saying Rihaana is completely innocent? No! What I am saying is, we have got to figure out better ways to manage our anger. Chris Brown found out soon enough, that no matter how much he is liked or how much money he makes, or how well he sings, or how good he looks, it doesn't keep him from the everyday struggles that makes him human.

We should all understand that this is a very young couple that lives in the limelight. It's already difficult enough to manage a relationship for everyday common folk, you know it must have been extremely difficult for them. Lets face it, even good people can have a bad day. I say this to say that Chris Brown made a serious mistake in whatever he did, but he doesn't deserve to be painted out as the "bad guy". His actions were wrong indeed, but we don't have all the facts to keep making assumptions. This is a real eye opener for the two of them. In fact, if anything, it shows that they too, are capable of being human. With all that being said, the chances of this relationship surviving is slim to none. I hope this teaches our young people about dealing with relationships in a mature matter.

Need to get paid!

We all could use some extra income, lets face it! If money was no issue, we wouldn't be researching different ways to maxamize our financial situation. Who wouldn't love to spend more time with the family and vacation more? I don't know of anyone...with that being said, are you in control of your financial future? The truth is, if you don't decide to take control, then you will continue to be cheated out of your time and money by working that dead end job. Even with it, it's not guranteed to be around! Right now the economy is so poor, companys are laying off by the hundreds and thousands. I recomend that we all start to take a look into our financial situations and ask ourself are we able to survive financially if that 9 to 5 goes away tomorrow? For the most part, most of us may survive about 2 months without employment, but why take that chance when you can just do some simple research online or in the library and learn how to earn money without having to really trade so many hours. The sky truly is the limit! I believe that we all should grab another person by the hand who really wants to learn and guide them in the right direction. After all, how can one be successful without the success of many! Are you ready to quit that job that you hate to go to everyday?